Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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