Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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