At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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