just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
