i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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