If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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