What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
