Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
