woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
