haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
