I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize