She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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