hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
What a dumb baby whore.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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