What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
