Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
