the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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