I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
