Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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