I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
