just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
