HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
