I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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