Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
