you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
