Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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