Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
