just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
