I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize