when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
