The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Randomize
