WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
