Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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