I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
