If i come over, it means nothing
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
where are my eyebrows?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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