We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
