She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
