Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
