why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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