he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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