im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
