he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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