i just google imaged poop.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Less talking, more tequila
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
