I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
