she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
