I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
