ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
