Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
