just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
