Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
