Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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