Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
