If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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