she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
