Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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