Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
