I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
