you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
its liver damage thursday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
