i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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