I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize